I am very particular about the media I consume. Just like we couldn’t expect our bodies to feel good if we mindlessly binge on junk food all day, constantly consuming social media negativity and a news cycle that thrives on drama is not conducive to a positive and peaceful mental state. It’s a constant theme in my writing, and one that is quick to incite eye rolls from my children who grew up without cable television in our house for more than a decade. The odd donut or glass of wine is not going to hurt us, but I try to make them treats, not staples. Likewise, if I choose to read a blog or sign up for an e-mail subscription, I am very choosy and stick with content that challenges me to think or inspires me. Which is why I was especially surprised to open an email this week from one of my favorite blogs, Best Self, and saw the headline, “Ready to Punch 2020 in the Face?” It sounded so unlike the editor, Kristen Noel, who I can usually count on to be a bright spot in my in box. The email continued,
“Oh 2020, you’ve stirred the emotional pot within each of us. You’ve triggered us, frightened us, infuriated us, and divided us. Your politics, current events, and vitriol have been like throwing gasoline on an already roaring fire. You’ve held us within your tight grasp, embroiled us further, instigated trouble. You’ve deceived us and tried to disempower us.”
Well now, yes. I do feel that. And she’s not even a teacher! It’s been one heck of a year so far. There have been so many changes for all of us on a personal and professional level, even ignoring much of the sadness and craziness on the political and social justice landscape. On my campus, anxieties are at an all-time high as we begin the process of bringing cohorts of students back to campus on a hybrid schedule. Some parents and coworkers are literally spiraling with “what if” scenarios, and school administration sends emails numerous times a day with new protocols and expectations. It’s a lot. But I’m preaching to the choir. You didn’t need to come to this blog to know that it takes every ounce of resolve we have to bring the best of ourselves to our students and our families who rely on us so much. So what is the answer?
I don’t have a definite answer to all of this. But I do have a question that helps. During times of uncertainty and extreme pressure, where even our dreams are invaded with “what if scenarios” about school, I find that keeping myself grounded in the present moment is more challenging than ever, but more critical than ever. The question I ask myself is this. I stop. I close my eyes. I take in as slow and deep a breath as I can muster, and I ask myself,
“In this moment am I OK?”
The answer is almost always “yes.” Am I or one of my family or my students going to get Covid-19? I don’t know. Are the kids going to be able to manage mask and physical distancing protocols? I don’t know. Will my mom be OK with her hip surgery and rehabilitation when I am 3,500 miles away and unable to help? I don’t know. When will I be able to hug my daughter again? I don’t know. But I do know that in THIS moment, I am OK. I have what I need. I can breathe. I have something pleasant to anticipate (even if it is just hanging up Zoom for the day or taking off my mask). I know that I have access to food and to shelter. At a certain point, I have to concede that life is a long string of current moments. And in this current moment, I am OK. It’s not a magic pill, but it helps. It’s quick. It’s free. It’s available to you at any time. When I need to calm or soothe myself, it’s my staple go-to question.
What about my email from Best Self? Well, I am pleased to report that it took a more positive turn that I have grown to expect and love. And that turn was to remind ourselves that we have the ability to write our own narrative about 2020. You know that’s an idea I subscribe to. Heck, I dedicated a large section of Teaching in the Post Covid Classroom to that very idea.
I’m not going to sugar coat it. A lot of 2020 has been horrible. I find the idea that it’s not over yet to be a plus. It still has time to redeem itself, even if just a little. But it did provide an opportunity to learn, grow, and adapt. There are amazing stories of resourcefulness and resilience to be found all around. It has been a year we will never forget, that’s for sure.
Next time you feel yourself spiraling and caught up in anxiety and thoughts about the unknown, I invite you to stop. Take that breath. And ask that question. “In this moment, are you OK?” It is my deepest hope that you are.
Hang in there. We got this.
 |
